In that case, Dude put that monkey in a cage. Here are the rules for being a married monkey.
ALLOWED TRANSGRESSIONS
1) Burnout engine of car due to oil change neglect- 2
2) Disguise oneself and try to become a singer in a band- 6
3) Max out credit card buying stuff for cool project you don't complete-12
4) Deny being the one who ate the last of the cookies-88
5) Wear clothes that don't really match but look cute in your opinion- infinite
6) F*ck other person in car - !ZERO!
Anyways, I feel really sorry for you because the punishment for breaking rule #6 is that you can't do any of the other stuff either now for a long, long, long, long*ss time.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
