I'm not trying to compare your incident of infidelity with an accident. All I'm saying is, all explanation should not be equated with an attempt to shift blame, and I would be amazed if Miss IC didn't feel the same (of course I can't speak for her and now might not be the time, but eventually .....) Nothing *excuses* it. But the circumstances matter, as does your thought process and mental/emotional state at the time. How are either of you going to learn anything useful from this if you don't delve into the whys and wherefores, *honestly* and exhaustively?
This going to get picked apart on so many levels and Miss IC and myself have already been discussing this, but here it goes...I'm sitting at the bar having a few drinks after my dinner. I'm watching a game on the tv. A woman comes up to me and starts conversing with me. She's validating me in a way that I had not been receiving at home and in a way in which I thought I wanted and needed. Then she wanted me to follow her to her car...again, more validation that I thought I wanted and was missing at home. Then the sex started and I realized that this was not the type of validation I was looking for...Too late IC, you just commited adultery against your wife. Months later, I would now know why I was not getting what I needed and wanted at home and it had nothing to do with Miss IC, it was me. I made changes to me and we began having a good marriage again. I'm not content with good and in order to get to great, one glaring black eye had to be addressed and at a risk of sending a good marriage into a sh!t hole. I took the risk and now I've got a tough road ahead. Now will someone please come on here and pick apart and refute everything that I said.
Originally Posted By: Kettricken
And, Mr. Depths Of Hell .... watch that hairshirt.
What did I do here? I've been in Miss IC's shoes with my first marriage and now I've subjected her to that same pain. ????
