formless utterings...

[Dom R]

Ugh.
Dealing with bad things, can be difficult.
Dealing with bad things, when you were looking forward to a good thing, is twice as worse.

My wife had accepted an invitation from me, to take her out to dinner for her birthday. I was pleasantly surprised, and looking forward to it.

The day rolls around. When I ask about schedule, she says she has "sniffles", and "would it be a crime", if we postponed it to the weekend. So, i cheerfully agreed.

New day arrives. i call her in the morning about it. "Now's a bad time to talk. call you later".

She calls me later. she says she's throwing up and cant come; can we "do it another time". No suggestion of when this time.

But she complains that we havent talked about money isses. So I suggest we go sit and talk at a restaurant anyway, and we do.


I was looking forward to suggesting something that I thought would be positive to both of us. I really thought she might like the idea of both seeing the children more (since she's been complaining about that recently), AND getting money. So I offered to give her more money, if we did more things with all of us more often.

She thought it was me attempting to "control her", and got angry about it.

ugh. Rough talk. Feeling really drained.

The one "almost amusing" thing, was that she made a comment about "anyone can keep up a mask over their behaviour for a while".

Wonder just how many people out there, can keep up a "mask", for over a year? ha ha... or something.

Feel like venting stuff along the lines of, "well, gee, exactly how long do you think someone has to stay in a behaviour, before it isnt a 'mask' any more? Until they die? then maybe you'll believe in them???"

sigh.
freakin tired.
not of carrying "a mask"; there aint one, I couldnt even see myself "putting on an act" for longer than a coupla months.
Just tired of trying to convince her that i'm not out to control her or expect her to be some kind of subserviant slave in a marriage.