I think OW is trying to screw up your time with H when he comes. He's probably still in touch with her and she's feeling jealous that he'll be with you at Christmas. She knows from what he's said in the past that you'll confront him, he'll get angry and it will keep your time together from being a happy time. Let it drop.. completely. Don't mention it to him again. When he gets there, treat him like a very good friend that you're thrilled to see. No pressure. No expectations. No R or OW talk. Even if he brings it up tell him that you don't want to talk about it and you just want to enjoy your time together. Think good friend.. father of my kids. Expect him to not be there for NY and if he stays.. be surprised and very happy to hear it.
