I wouldn't ask him to NYC. Not only b/c you're leaving tomorrow, but b/c you sounded like you're really looking forward to spending it with you kids. Enjoy yourself. Try to breathe.
Like imp, my question would be what do you want. I know how hard it can be to answer that esp in the middle of all this. I have a trick(?) I use. I sit in front of the mirror and have a convo with myself as if one of me wasdying and looking back on my life. May sound morbid (btw that me is OLD), but I find I am actually surprised at the wisdom I possess. I journal so I record this stuff too. Sometimes something hits me rather quickly, somethimes it comes to me later. It's just another way to get in touch with what's inside of you.
Jeff - well, yes, you are not... but... thank you)
you know, Jeff, i didn't have any of your comments yesterday( they appeared only this morning. it's weird. so if you thought that i was ignoring you - i was, because i didn't know that you were there
i am hesitant with the idea of our "first thought being often the good one" - because it is difficult to discern if it came up first because of a habit or it is our intuition speaking. still not sure about the tipping point between flexibility and jumping too high
point 1 is to the point) i do tend to overstress myself) as it is now
and i did call my h and made an offer to be w/us in nyc. i do not if he would be able or he would want to follow through on it but it felt good after that
altho i do not know how he interpreted that - if he felt pressured or it was a positive reinforcement of his decision to separate w/ow - or may be all of the above)
oh, well)
me, h - 40+ m-20+ s, d, ss - 20+ s, ow, pa since 04.2007 h back and forth 01.2008 - 05.2008 h decided to be w/ow 05.13.2008 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1415899&page=1&fpart=1
Grace - i am all confused with the messages - yours one just popped up in my thread, altho you posted it last night
i will try a trick with a mirror and journaling does make a difference for me. before i would journal only in the time of extreme stress and sorrow. now i do it more regularly not only on the days that i feel sad. before i was so concentrated on the life outside of me, on all of the demands as a mother, wife, ... that i barely paid any attention to what is happening inside of me unless it was a crisis. it is still a struggle for me to create time for those activities.
i share your amazement about inner wisdom that come up at times. thank you for good wishes. happy holidays for you, too
me, h - 40+ m-20+ s, d, ss - 20+ s, ow, pa since 04.2007 h back and forth 01.2008 - 05.2008 h decided to be w/ow 05.13.2008 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1415899&page=1&fpart=1
Don't know if you are still around, but I didn't realize that thse were mutually exclusive events. You obviously need to stick with your plans, but if you don't want to spend that much time with your H, then don't.
thank you for good wishes. happy holidays for you, too