Lisa...see about a financial waiver when you file...I know here in CA that if you are low income or have such debt that you can't afford the filing they will waive it...it was really easy for me to do...a few minutes to fill out a form and sign my name...no need to bring proof of anything...they took me at my word!
Look into any programs for single parent (mom's)...it is suprising how many states offer special assistance to help you get an education, job, home...you name it...
The world is your oyster now...and you aren't abandoning H...you are simply doing what needs to be done...he abandoned his family and until he comes to his senses (if he does) then there is nothing you can do to help...I know...I had to let my H go down that path of destruction...eventually he wanted my help...and was willing to accept my love...not an easy time but it at least we were both on the same track...
So it isn't abandonment on your part...but you have conditions...like he needs professional help...he needs to "abandon" all OW...he needs to recognize his families needs above his own...and he needs to get clean of all drugs/alcohol abuse...then he will be in a position for you to be his helper...until then you need to help yourself and your children...
You have cause (according to CA laws anyway) to file a domestic abuse case and get a restraining order...if that is what you need to do then do it...right now you don't think of what is best for H first and you and the kids second...you think of what is best for you and the kids first...and foremost!
