Adventures of Supermom...JennyF's 2nd thread

[lizzy]

Hi Jenny, I'm caught up on you now.

H called today while I was shopping to see if I could pick D up. If you took the current situation away, the conversation could have been just one of our normal old H & W conversations....without the ILY at the end. He was nice, even made small talk about my car troubles. It was weird and it's these conversations that get me wondering what is going on his head? Does he feel how normal this is? Is there ANYTHING happening in his head that is making him wonder about his choices? I know I have to stop this thinking, but it is difficult at this time of year.

I get bothered too by H making small talk on the phone sometimes. It is so odd how he can act like everything is normal and then I won't hear from him for awhile.

Who decided that you won't go to your IL's party? I'm just curious because when I didn't go to IL's for Thanksgiving they all missed me. Then they found out about the S and told me I am still part of the family no matter what. I am fortunate that they really do love and care about me. I told H I plan on spending Christmas w/ the Ds and will be taking them to his family's functions. I said it was up to him what he does. At this point I don't know how he plans on spending the day. I probably won't know until that day because I won't ask. Maybe the Ds will. Anyway I talk to his family more than he does. Your H probably won't have much fun at his family gathering as they probably won't validate what he is doing.

[JennyF]

Who decided that you won't go to your IL's party? I'm just curious because when I didn't go to IL's for Thanksgiving they all missed me.

I think it was just assumed I wouldn't go. My MIL has been dealing with this whole thing by method of avoidance. She is famous for it. In fact this is probably what got H into this mess to begin with as his family has never been able to deal with any kind of problem...they just pretend it isn't there.

I am very close with MIL & 2 SIL's...but MIL has withdrawn from me since the bomb drop. She's bareley even seen her grandson and she lives 2 minutes up the road.

I know my not being there will be felt by everyone and I really hope that H feels like a complete A$$. Although he's so self absorbed right now he probably won't. I just wish they were the type of people who would call him out on it...if it were my family there would be a lynching...but not them.

I am having a REALLY hard time with it. H left 1/2 hour ago with D and hard as I tried not to I started to cry as I was saying to good-bye to D. I told H through tears to tell everyone I said Merry Christmas. He just replied "yep" and that was it. I'm sure H was ticked off that I was crying. He thinks I'm all about the drama. Heartless pr*ck.
How are you just instantly not a part of a family? How do you go from being related to someone to sitting at home alone (with my 2 month old) 3 days before Christmas while they're all enjoying family and good times?

I had a whole bunch of friends over last night which was great. It was so nice to have them here. But I know they all felt like something was missing with H not being here. He knew people were here and I'm wondering if he missed it. Does he feel any loss right now? Does he feel anything? Will he notice that I'm not there tonight? I doubt it.

I think I'm going to go do a bit of shopping. The stores are open late tonight and I doubt they'll be too busy.
(((HUGS))) to anyone else out there who may be feeling as lonely as I am tonight.
J~

[sgctxok]

My gosh, you so did the right thing.

I divorced after 10 years of marriage and I sought the divorce. Still, I so missed his family. And 13 years later...I'm welcome back, and he isn't always. But I live over 300 miles away...


Anyway...I feel what you're missing.


You did an AWESOME job!!! Really you couldn't have done better.


Wishing you wonderful holidays.