I don't know how your household is run at all, and I don't want to make any assumptions here, but I will....
I would think most women would have a reasonably difficult time living in a house with FIVE males.... Especially if she feels that she is responsible for all of the domestic duties. What a burden that would be.
For example, if you and the boys like to make messes, and she feels that she has to clean them up, there would be little time in her life for anything else. Know what I mean?
I have no idea if that is part of the dynamic. None of my business, but something to think about for a mo.
Oh, and if you are handy at all, prove it to her please! Thanks!
Hey F1- She has said she doesn't feel like she belongs here, what with all the testosterone,and stuff! But I don't think a sex change operation is the answer, for either of us!
We do try to split things up, I do all or at least most of the weekend cooking, the boys and I do the laundry, though not always to her satisfaction, the way SHE would do it. I'll need to tell the pan story on this this thread sometime, not now though. The boys help a lot with cleaning the family room, though she is definitely driving.
Handy, I can do, though sometimes it takes a kickstart. I'll try to concentrate on fixing that!
Oh, and despite the stuff we do, we still often hear that the house is a pig stye. Her house growing up well at least by the time I saw it, post high school, and more post college, was fairly museum quality. Don't really know how. we sure don't live up the that. I've got a protection mechanism thing going now, the master bedroom is a mess, and I don't really care to fix it. Because, if I do, and have any expectation that she might come back in, I'll be rejected, because I know she won't. But now, I can pretend she is rejecting the mess, and not me! At lest that's my self analyis. Pretty clever thinking, for a mae, I think.
I've got a protection mechanism thing going now, the master bedroom is a mess, and I don't really care to fix it. Because, if I do, and have any expectation that she might come back in, I'll be rejected, because I know she won't. But now, I can pretend she is rejecting the mess, and not me! At lest that's my self analyis. Pretty clever thinking, for a mae, I think.
Uhm Jeff....sweetie
The only thing I would think is YOU SEE? You can't even keep your room clean! This would make you more her son than her husband.
Clean the room dude. That will be a complete 180 when she gets home. Besides, having a mess around your comfort zone makes your mind a mess
Hugs
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Jeannette is right. Clean the room for you. 'cause that is one thing that you have infinite control over. Take pleasure in clean carpets and fresh sheets and laundry actually hanging where it is supposed to.
Small things to feeling in control of your life.
She may be surprised, but that certainly shouldn't be expected to translate into moved.
Lots of men here seem to have teenaged boys. I wonder if there is some sort of pattern? As you can tell, I have absolutely no idea.
You are a peach, now how about a peach who is in control of HIS life? You deserve it, sweetie. Definitely do. At the moment, it's all about you.
Thanks you to J's. I knew you were going to tell me that! I kinda started last weekend. It will get done. The trick for me is to realized that it isn't going to cause a change on its own. And, it isn't the room she's rejecting, BUT she isn't going to stop rejecting me with the room like that. I can do that.
Jeanette, what are you doing in my mind? Yes it is a mess. I feel like crap today, don't really know why, but I have gotten a few things done. Paid the tax bill, for one. Kind of important, if mundane. I think I have a handle on the Christmas cards she left, still missing a couple addresses, but I can't make them up, you know? But it hasn't been what I'd call a good day. You guys (using the term really loosely) help a lot, you know!
F1, the teenage sons are great! Both are really busy working now, as the older one is working at Safeway, and the other at See's Candy. The oldest ran tot he post office today to pick up the stuff he got me for my birthday (which was two weeks ago, while he was out in Virginia training). He is so happy to have money of his own, he spent way too much on me! We are slowly working on a model railroad, and he got me a pair of engines and a caboose. Spent about $200 I bet. Best kids in the world! Of course, everyone says that, and they are all right!
ppssstt, my thread locked up but I wanted to let you know I got a tree. I told H I was thinking about getting one and asked if he would help get one, fit it in the stand, and get it in the house. He said he'd help get it in the house. I said how about helping fit it in the stand too? he said he supposed so.
Just before I left I couldn't help but be all but laughing and H said what? I said remember the time the kids and us all went and picked out a tree and cut it down ourselves, and it was wide as the living room! Then I asked if I went another time if he would want to come along to pick out a tree, he shook his head. Then I asked if I should get the tree before or after sex. He was surprised but hid his smile, and said what are you talking about. I laughed and said I don't know!
I know what you mean about keeping a messy room to use that as an excuse for the rejection. Easier than dealing with the real reaason? I know you've said too that she won't get a new mattress until the credit card bills are paid, but uh, if she won't even sleep on that mattress then why does she expect you too? go get yourself a new bed!!!!! Man up and let her know that you don't expect to let ALL of your needs go ignored.
Pal! Good job on the tree! And having fun with it, whether he'd play along or not. I guess you kinda used him, and he didn't even know he was used! You didn't offer a roll, did you? You know, as long as we are both around here, that word is going to have a little different meaning!
Yep, messy room is easier!
The mattress really doesn't bother me. Although it might if I had a good one to compare it to! It's the first mattress we bought, so that would be late 1984! It did spend 6 or 7 years in storage, but it is pretty used up. But, I ike your thinking. I may pull that out at the opportune moment, as Capt. Jack Sparrow would say!
