This is just my opinion, but I really think there's something particularly wrong with your W (I can hear you thinking, "Hah, tell me something I don't know!") I mean, the way she tries to keep you in tow all the while seeing the OM -- what part of reality does she not get? Any of it?
To be honest, at first hearing how your W still flirts with you and continues to give you the opportunity to do the same -- even to the point of dressing right in front of you now (wow!) -- I was inclined to be a little jealous. But then I realize this is while she continues to have the R with the OM. It would, to me, be more fun in the long run to being disemboweled while heavily drugged up on crack and morphine -- yes, it wouldn't hurt at first, and might even feel good, but in the end your guts are spilled out all over the floor (sorry to be so morbid).
Next time you might ask her is she seriously thinking of an "open marriage" (an oxymoron if there ever was one), because this seems to go well beyond cake-eating. One would hope her reaction to that would be one of abhorrence, but the way you've been describing her, she is so mixed up about what she wants that she might even consider it first before ruling it out -- if that's the case, then that will tell you just how lost she really is.
