Thank you all for taking the time to share your caring and kindness with me. It helps so much to know that you are out there - sadly, also experiencing the loss - but finding ways to move on, and even finding new love. It's hard to believe that I could actually fall in love again and start a new life with someone else. Seems so strange.
My STBXH and I met while traveling in his native country. We fell in love through writing. We jumped through many hoops to be together. We were best friends. He once said, to have a family is the greatest achievement in life. We had a great family. We loved, laughed, cried, worked hard, talked for hours, cooked, made love, made plans for our future and loved being parents to our S(5). I was the happiest woman on earth. Ah, ignorance is bliss.
STBXH, sadly, was holding so much in. He was unhappy with himself and he suddenly (I believe) snapped. He realized that he had lived his life to please everyone else and didn't really have a clue who he was. Is this an excuse for infidelity? NO! But 2 years later he is still clueless.
While S5 and I go on with our lives and continue to build a wonderful family of two, STBXH makes his "home" in a little studio apt in the City near Ow, works a lot and plays out his Goth fantasies - completely oblivious to the fact that he is still living his life to please others (now, Ow).
I guess I needed to sort that all out in writing this morning...
Meanwhile, S5 and I have a whole week off for Christmas vacation. Today I will take him ice-skating for the first time. Last night we watched the Grinch and had hot-chocolate. This is the family life I wanted. Maybe someday a new man will come into our lives, wanting this kind of family, I don't know. But I won't wait. Life is right now.
Alamogirl ~ I ask myself the same question about whether to be friends with ex. Right now I give myself the permission to take it day by day. Sometimes I can be friendly, other days I can only manage cordial. It's like my therapist said: he's the one who f'd up. I am not obligated to be friends with him. But for my S5 I am always "nice".
Let's all have a peaceful and blessed holiday - and a wonderful new year.
Take care,
Monica
My sitch: Me 40 H 30 M 8 yrs 1 S5.5 Bomb Oct 2005 Sep Nov 2005 H w/ Ow I filed for LS June 2007 H responded w/ D 2007 I have sole P custody, joint L Just need to take care of Final Judgement papers
