What Now

[mako]

I think that's a great gift, I'd love a gift like that if I was losing my dog.

Anyway, I don't see how he won't be happy with that. It's personal, something he kind of alluded to that he might want, and not mushy and reminding of the M. And you can't beat the price. Good job!

[grdn24grl]

I'm sure he'll like it. Question: how does a "single" man spend $75 at bath & body works? It's not for his mom, he doesn't speak to his parents, I can pretty much guarantee it's not for me, so my only other conclusion is that he is seeing someone, right? Thursday night he got a call at 2:00am, a clue also? Merry f'in Christmas to me.

[bhopeful]

Umm... It sounds like you're making some assumptions here. I'm pretty sure that B&BW sells stuff for dudes, so maybe he bought himself a present? How do you know how much he spent and where though? Are you snooping? If so, you should stop. It won't help you at all. The evidence doesn't sound good when you look at it from your perspective, but it's all circumstantial right now. You're just taking a shot in the dark right now and you don't know if you're hitting anything or not. It's only natural to be wondering this, but I can tell you that it won't do you any good.

Hang tight and don't get too paranoid about things you don't know for sure.

Peace,
B

PS, Can I send you an email with some pictures of my puppies?

[grdn24grl]

online bank account. I just feel like if he is dating someone, I will lose him for sure. I am trying to be more self-confident which has always been an issue with me. I just feel like he's not noticing any changes in me. He hasn't commented on the fact that I've lost weight, he doesn't ask about what's going on in my life or what I've been doing. We don't even have conversations. It's all about him, that's all that's in his head. Anyway...
Of course you can send pics of your puppies, I would love to see them. I believe my email is on my profile.

[bhopeful]

Well, from the what I know of you from on these boards, you seem like a wonderful person and he will be missing out on a lot if he doesn't come back. I know that having your S leave can be a big hit to the confidence in your self. I felt it too. I'm still not completely over it, but I am much more self assured these days. It seems like he is still open to having you around. I mean you did spend the night with him recently, correct? So even if he is "dating" it can't be very serious. Just be careful and don't let yourself get used.

Is it a shared bank account? If not, then you definitely shouldn't be looking at it. If it is, then you should probably consider getting one of your own so you can avoid finding stuff like this.

I just realized that my W took the computer that has all of the pictures on it, so I'm going to have to take some new pics of the pups. I'll send you an email in a couple days.

Peace,
B

[grdn24grl]

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!!!!

[~nUmB~]

Wow, you are almost me! Last year after my son was born I discovered that my husband had created a profile on match.com listed himself as divorced. That was just the beginning of it all (you'll have to go back and read my threads). Yet again, we are going through it again.. Half of me wants to stay and work it out, but the other half of me thinks about leaving.

Ann25 is sooo right!! My mind has been racing, I am thinking all negatives, and it has made me physically and emotionally sick - I am on two antidepressants, something for anxiety (think chest pain), something for sleep, and my blood pressure is scary high (153/115 as of yesterday, and I normally do not have blood pressure issues). I am really trying to get this fixed - our marriage is broken, and I want it fixed.

My husband told me yesterday that it annoyed him when I would call him all the time (he travels for work - sometimes gone days at a time), and it made him "sick of me". He did agree that in the last few months I quit calling him. So, what's the big deal?? I have made changes, but he has not. It's very frustrating.

[tmi]

Merry Christmas to you too, g24g, and everyone else reading this!

We have a roof over our heads, food in our kitchens, we're pretty sure that no one will drop a bomb on our children tomorrow and most of us are pretty healthy, I'm guessing. For those of us in the western world, these seem like pretty basic things to be thankful for, but for the majority of the world's population, it's a dream they'll never attain.

We all have struggles and heartache too, but I see a lot of dignity and strength in the people here. It sucks, but I think we can all say that we're better for it too.

g24g, about the possible girlfriend - if you find solid evidence that your H is involved with someone, what will that mean to you? If you are absolutely certain that you will end your M and walk away without looking back, then perhaps you should continue looking until you find out one way or the other. If, though, like most of us who have realized the importance of our M, you would likely be willing to look away if you thought it would eventually blow over, you're only hurting yourself by continuing to look and think about it.

I guess I have the 'advantage' of knowing that my H has cheated on me many, many times in the last 6 years and most of the time I didn't know. I knew our M was in trouble and looking back I am pretty sure I can pinpoint when it started, but the first time I knew for sure about an EA, I was so shocked! My point is that all of these 'relationships' ended eventually and it was a lot less painful from my point of view when I didn't know about it.

Try to live your life and leave his to him. Separate bank accounts sound like a good idea - I'm working on getting that arranged, too.

I am not prepared to continue into the future tolerating affairs and looking the other way, but my only goal at this point (after looking after myself, of course is a commitment to our M from both of us, including a commitment to address the infidelity/internet addiction issue.

[grdn24grl]

Well Christmas sucked! I went to my mother's on Sunday, spent the day baking. Monday we all went down to my cousin's house (no one else knows what's going on), so everyone was asking where H was, I just said he had to work (not a lie, he was on shift) and they understood. Christmas morning was horrible. I called and left a message just saying Merry Christmas. I got so emotional I had to leave. I got home with just enough time to make the dish I was bringing to my friends house for dinner. While I was getting ready to go H called to wish me Merry Christmas. He asked what I was doing and when I said I was getting ready to go to a friend's, his voice almost sounded like 'oh', like I'm supposed to be home and miserable. He said he was going to make his rounds to the other guys' houses. I told him I had something for him, if he wanted to get togther later, he said by the time he was done with all that running around he was going home to bed because he hadn't slept the night before (I guess they had a lot of calls). I had a nice time at my friend's house, food was good, as well as the company. Got home about 6:00 watched some tv, then went to the local watering hole, had my ego boosted (free beverages, little conversations but nothing further - I am still married). Came back home cuddled on the couch with my dog watched more tv, fell asleep, woke up at 3am with this gnawing feeling to call him, and did obviously no answer (wasn't expecting one) left a message saying I couldn't sleep and was thinking of him (I know against LRT and DB, couldn't help it). I just wanted to see him on Christmas. I miss him so much. If this works out, I will always let him know how much I miss him and care for him.

[grdn24grl]

I'm feeling very angry today, can't quite put my finger on why. I feel like calling him and just screaming at him, is this normal? I don't even know what about. AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! I think I need to go outside and scream my head off. Why can't he just wake up and see? I feel like he hasn't noticed anything different about me. Well, how can he, he never talks to me, and the only time we've seen each other is for ***. It's driving me nuts. I haven't even been able to give him his gift. Even with my GAL stuff, I can't stop thinking about him. I know I can't wait around for him to call, put I find myself doing so, I'm constantly checking my phone or email, nothing. When I hear his ringtone I am so excited, then I can be the bubbly, upbeat person. It's in between that I'm having difficulty with. I'm okay around people, when I'm out, but I can't be that all the time. When I'm alone I crash, sometimes harder than others. Please tell me this is normal and it gets better, easier to detatch. I just want to hear his voice once in a while, I would be happy with that.