Have I waited too long?

[cat11]

I think what I meant was that I'm trying not to do the depressed, begging, pleading, crying thing. He knows how upset I am and how hurt I am that I've put him through this. Believe me, there have been a few breakdowns in the last month. I'm just trying to be positive and be the person he deserves to be with. When I found this site I did email him the link to the first chapter of SSM and asked him to read it. He said he would, but hasn't commented on it yet. I also let him know that I've been reading this forum and that I feel really good about the things I'm learning and that it has given me alot of insight into what he has been going through as well. I read NOPkins post from several years ago...my husband could have written it almost word for word.

Yes, I am scared, but trying not to react out of that fear. My mind has been going a million mph. I have plans for when I pick him up at the airport, as well New Years Eve. I'm picturing in my mind a thousand different things I can do and say. I want to show him that I am still the woman he met 9 years ago, but just got sidetracked somewhere along the way. One of the problems is that he seems to be fixated on why this happened. I don't have any answers for that and I'm afraid he won't be able to move on without those answers. I guess that's something we'll just have to work through. Thank you both for your comments. I really am feeling better the more reading I do here. As scared as I am I do feel like he'll give the time to this relationship to see if it can be saved. I think he won't be feeling very opimistic about it, but a chance is all I need.