I guess it was convoluted, but it was aimed at Burgbud.
What is going on with you BB? Im curious if your still filling your 401k for your WAW.
You really see no connection between making her feel more secure and maintaining an attraction to you?
I do see a connection between making her feel secure and her feeling I desire her. Which IS important. I seriously question that there is a connection between giving security and them being attracted to you. There are many men and women that are WILLING to TRADE that, but that is not Attraction. A woman who is attracted to you and respects you and believes in you will follow you around the world and sleep in the mud.
I provide almost nothing currently. There is lots of attraction. (obviously at this stage thats all there is) Heck they try to AOS and GG me. Its when I dont show any desire back that it is withdrawn (not lost) out of self preservation.
The beer to slam doesn't have to be that way if he chooses not to be.
here is my response to that. -- Has anyone else seen that new sitcom "The Big Bang Theory"? On the last episode a female nerd seduces a male nerd and then objects to his affection saying that she was just using him to get her dopamine fix.
How many people who saw/read/ that thought it was funny? How many would think it was funny if a guy --say a guy like me...did it to a bunny girl?
No the beer does not have the choice. Her perception is hers. They decide what role I will play immediately. If I try to go outside of their perception, it weirds them out, and messes up everything. Yes I have some control over my environment and behavior.
LFL, why do I have to explain the dynamic of my failed M everytime? Im not just talking to you.
See, I am a human. Im not superman. I make mistakes such as: I cared what my W thought of me, I wanted to make her Happy yada yada yada, she had the ability to hurt me, I personalized, I valued her input, I couldnt alwayst tell what was a test and when I should really believe what she said. None of the above is reason for A or D. None of the above is an excuse for the dissasembling a woman tries to do to a man's pysche to make herself feel better about leaving. Its like you and cobra cant imagine me doing any of the above. Imagine x's surprise then. LOL. Can I pass tests now like the terminator in a pile of new born kittens? Oh hell yeah. Its pretty ridiculous actually. But Im not attached to the outcome. That wont happen till I put time and effort into the R. What will happen when I respect her and value what she says? That is what you say you want... yes?
I shut her out and down AFTER she responded and reacted to OM. Oh. she finally had the opportunity to show she made a choice, because there was someone--who was for the first time since she met me, just as attractive to her.
Its Not My Job To Tend Her Fences. Allowing her to throw that on you is just more Supplicating. Dont do it. If you do, she is not just as invested in the R as you. She stood there in front of god/family/priest/judge and said her OWN vows.
Dom is supplicating and placating his WAW so much. He doesnt have a chance.
I refuse to accept that responsibility, untill I meet a woman who says that it is, and we make an agreement including that as one of my responsibilities. Im not going to give her what she wants, just so she can take my kids and half my lifes energy a few years after having 1 of mine and 1 of someone elses kid -- for the cardinal sin of wanting to make her happy and trying to take care of her by listening to what she says will do that (hoop jumping).
Other people have stated you are basically all wolf. I have said I am now all wolf, and I do Even that to protect women. (this is not looking for sympathy, so dont give it. My life does not suck. ) I miss being monkey/stallion quite a bit. I have reminders to myself all over to keep myself in check. quotes in lipstick on my bathroom mirrors. posts from here on my fridge and in my office. etc. Its not easy. It takes a lot of work.
I dont hide my rapier behind a lace petticoat. I stride around with my Claymore unsheathed. only those who think they can deal with it come forward. There are not a small number of predators trying to hide in bunny suits nowadays, who only want to go home with smiles on their faces. I just make em take off the bunny suit first, or I dont play w/ them. Mojo said I should integrate Alpha and Top. I still dont know what she means by that. Im willing to listen. Then Mojo changed to be puppy. I was puppy here once and you wanted to give me a hug. Gross. I dont want a hug, I want to get laid. Another time I was puppy here, and you thought it meant you could kick the puppy. Remember? I have no desire to take care of .... I wont allow myself to take responsibility for taking care of a grown ass woman.
Maybe you should focus more on maintaining that attraction long-term,
It is my job to maintain MY attraction. I mastered that. Maintaining her attraction is NOT my job. Thats a battle against female biology, and untill I meet a woman who acknowleges and accepts who and what she is, and her feelings about LT attraction, I dont stand a chance of doing that on my own. This is what I want men to understand. Assuming you can do it, is still placating and supplicating. Letting her throw it all on you and do all the work is not holding her responsible for her half, no matter how much she cry's or rants at you.
