Hi, cat. If you've been reading posts for two days, then you pretty much know what to do.
You're married, and you're spending the holidays apart? Why aren't you going with him to his family? I say go-- don't let him go by himself.
Also, show him this post or tell him what's in it. Ask for a specific length of time-- say, six months to a year-- for you to "prove" that you've changed. Decide between the two of you what would be an appropriate frequency for sexual contact so that he won't feel deprived and you won't feel overwhelmed-- three times per week? twice per week?
If you search for posts by NOPkins and Mrs NOP, you'll see that their R was stymied much like yours, and they couldn't decide on frequency, so they came up with every day. Yup. There's another couple on here who negotiated every day. Both have had success with that. At least make sure no more than X number of days go by without one of you initiating (where x= 2 or 3)
There's more, and others will probably add... if he loves you, it likely is not too late.
You don't mention children-- what's the story there?
