I was were you are a while back but with only 1 child. I know its scarey to do it on your own but if you put your mind to it you can do it. It is hard but worth the peace you get besides what persues with your children.
I had ups and downs like you with mine. As time goes on, the more they feel they can consume from alcohol to prescrip meds and the mixture can kill you or your kids. Let me say mine was fine as long as he was sobor, which got fewer inbetween. Then it was to the dr. to get some heavy duty "pain" meds some from anxiety attacks. These made him worse when he drank.
Everything was about him, for him, if not he would leave. He about killed me one night on his episode and didn't matter if my son was there or not. That was one scarey night when even my neighbors didn't hear us or me screaming for help. Just writing this brings back those memories of the worse times we had and when I look at him I remember those times not the good times.
Mine left and with him leaving I was scared like you. Thought for sure I would lose my home, have not enough to feed my son. But as time went on, I did it month by month, day by day. I never talk about it much just keep my head up striving to provide.
My ex, well he assumed I would find him and beg for him back. What for? To endure the same thing all over again. Nice to begin with, then accept his behaviors because I relied on him for support of financial things. I almost lost my life one night and I am not going to wait for that night to reoccur. He still calls me and still cries wishing we could be together. I wish too but he still is drinking and taking more meds. It wouldn't work. For you to say it was big of your husband to admit to a few bruses is saying not much about his character. That means he isn't truly sorry and he could do much worse.
Well I don't mean to bore you with what happened in my past. But I thought you need a heads up cause truly you are the strong one cause your husband returns when he feels weak so you hold him up. You need to wait till he is as strong as you are. Off the substances and knowing what he did to you was wrong. You don't want to wait to see him at his real worse and never to forgive him for it. You can do this and yes all on your own. You will feel peace which in turn will make you that much stronger.
