Love, PAIN and the Whole Crazy Thing

[mcol]

mcol: That myspace message, and the video, is about as close to a "baby step" as you can come, being so far away.
You going dark, if nothing else, is keeping you from having to hear her sh!t. Accept the video/myspace message as a "God-wink," or a "baby step," or a small miracle. And don't ruin that for yourself by calling your W. Call your D when she's away from W to ask about the doc. appt.

That's just my .05 (inflation, ya know).

Keep it up.

Thanks..I was thinking that some kind of ice crystal (even the smallest one) in that section of her heart was melting as a result of that. Thank God to whatever person here either sent her that or if she surfed it herself. May have been the catalyst for her telling me about D3 appt.

I woke up in the middle of the night again, my dreams have been overflowing of W and kids. Tried to IM her but thankfully she was away. I will continue to stay dark for a while to stay away from her BS, however, with Christmas coming I know we will talk in the next few days. I will try to keep it light hearted although I know it will be very hard for W with her dad not being there. Compound that with the anniversary of his death 3 days later and I am sure the rage or deadness against me will return. Also, this will give OM a chance, once again, to be knight in shining armor and physically be there for her so she does not have to "cry alone"....effing Army.