It has been really interesting to see all the directions this thread ventured (including places that have scarred my mind's eye..thanks oldtimer). Sure, there is no doubt that LFL and here H are currently both more sexually passive. Though, I don't think her current situation has anything to do with dominance and submission. It sounds to me like LFL's H completely emotionally detaches when presented with sexual expectations. He ignores the issue and the severity of the issue's impact on the M because he simply cannot cope with this problem right now. With that in mind, I wonder how good of an idea it is for LFL to take matters in her own hands and aggressively pounce her H? Is forcing him to be uncomfortable really then way to conquer his underlying distrust and insecurities? In fact, I wonder if hyper aggressive sexual advances might just serve to remind him that he is sexually inadequate and not the man LFL really wants.
I know it is not nearly as satisfying right now, but LFL, I might recommend an approach made up of smaller more considerate steps. Your H's drive is low, sex is a very sensitive topic, and your H is not connecting the worlds of love and sex. Maybe start by talking with him and asking what makes HIM feel that love/sex connection right now. Then, feed him one of your small and attainable needs. For example, maybe your H find connection in touch and likes to be massaged. LFL, maybe you feed him that you want him to hold you with a forceful grip when you ML. You both agree to your respective parts and set a date to carry them out. Yes, it is kind of clinical and not terribly romantic. Though, starting small and building up is often more successful with emotional disassociation.
Well, he did encourage me to do more pouncing, so I don't know if I would freak him out or anything. But I do think you are right about him just being emotionally detached. Not just sexually, but in all parts of his life.
I think that was a large contributor to why he left. He was like a ticking time bomb that needed to explode. I mentioned before he's always been the good guy and proper, etc. Well, when he left I think he was just sick of doing that..with me...with his family...everyone. He barely spoke to anyone during that time. His desire was to just be alone, hang out at Starbuck's and Barnes and Noble...Well, he had a little more rebellion than that...he got two tattoos during the separation as well. If only he got the red sports car and bodacious blonde......but that's not his style.
Thanks for the tips. And why aren't you starting your own thread?
