H said our M is "platonic"

[Brian_M]

It has been really interesting to see all the directions this thread ventured (including places that have scarred my mind's eye..thanks oldtimer). Sure, there is no doubt that LFL and here H are currently both more sexually passive. Though, I don't think her current situation has anything to do with dominance and submission. It sounds to me like LFL's H completely emotionally detaches when presented with sexual expectations. He ignores the issue and the severity of the issue's impact on the M because he simply cannot cope with this problem right now. With that in mind, I wonder how good of an idea it is for LFL to take matters in her own hands and aggressively pounce her H? Is forcing him to be uncomfortable really then way to conquer his underlying distrust and insecurities? In fact, I wonder if hyper aggressive sexual advances might just serve to remind him that he is sexually inadequate and not the man LFL really wants.

I know it is not nearly as satisfying right now, but LFL, I might recommend an approach made up of smaller more considerate steps. Your H's drive is low, sex is a very sensitive topic, and your H is not connecting the worlds of love and sex. Maybe start by talking with him and asking what makes HIM feel that love/sex connection right now. Then, feed him one of your small and attainable needs. For example, maybe your H find connection in touch and likes to be massaged. LFL, maybe you feed him that you want him to hold you with a forceful grip when you ML. You both agree to your respective parts and set a date to carry them out. Yes, it is kind of clinical and not terribly romantic. Though, starting small and building up is often more successful with emotional disassociation.

Any way, this is just my humble view.