I am going to go to the in-laws for Christmas Eve and Day. H called the other day to ask if I had made up my mind and I said that I will probably go. He then said he hopes I will go and that he wants us all there together. Huh? Why did you leave if you want us there together (the little voice inside my head wondered)?
Anway, been busy this week with last minute Christmas things and the kids. The focus has definately been off of H as I try to finish up and prepare. He has called me several times while out shopping regarding things he was picking up for the kids.
I think he felt the focus shifting from him as I got a TM last night at 1:30 am ....just remarking that this is my last day of work until 1/2/8 and asking how it feels.
I didn't respond...so naturally he called. I answered as I didn't think. He sounded down. He kept talking about how lucky i was to have this time off and we made some small talk. He said he was sorry that he woke me and that I should go back to bed and I did. I am tired from a cold and need my rest.
I tm'ed him back before I fell asleep to have "sweet dreams" but didn't hear from him until first thing this morning. We are on 2 different cell carriers and he didn't get my tm until this morning. He called just for that.
So, who knows what the holiday will bring. I have zero expectations. I remember last year ( in the heat of his A with MOW) he slept in his car in the driveway until christmas morning when the kids woke up. Not sure what will be this year. Just leaving it to God to decide.
I am off soon to see my C. Haven't been there in a while and need to unload a bit. Am looking forward to no work for a bit and just getting things in order around the house.
