That's why you and I would make a killer bar-hopping team -lol. I was going to ask you if you ever get annoyed with the opposite problem which would basically be men treating you too juvenile simply because of your appearance.
I have two different kinds of experiences in bars. One is, if I just sit and talk with my friends... NO ONE approaches me. No one.
Two... if I am my naturally, curious, friendly self... I talk with people I find interesting... and once I do that... my friends usually get annoyed because I am speaking with people I find interesting, not necessarily with guys who are 'in the sak' material.
In any event, guys either call me cute or hot, and most find me utterly perplexing because I've never left a bar with a guy and really don't want to (doesn't mean I won't ever, just that it's not really my style). And unless I am wearing something so obviously 'come fck me,'(<-- I think I did that once... oh god, that was a hoot and an utter failure) WHAT I wear really doesn't seem to have anything to do with whether they call me cute or hot.
Soooo.... I go out now and have MY fun and let the chips fall where they may. I'm tired of worrying about it... but holy smokes, do I have fun.
So. If you spot a guy you would like to speak with, I would have no problem figuring out a way to get that done.
I think you and I would just have a flipping BLAST... LOL!!!!
Okay, just babbling to myself some more. When I appear as I appear when I went out in public with GP, I look lioness but relative to GP I felt bunny and that's what I frequently vibed. So, on the same trip to the casino, GP chuckled and did an impression of two old guys wiping off drool and saying "Did you see that tall woman with the hour glass figure?" but the cocktail waitress called me "Sweetie" in a condescending manner.
If I think about how I could vibe lioness as opposed to some kind of female wolf which is a simple matter of transforming anger into cool or cold seduction, I think of what I would vibe if I believed the phrase "I am a woman in her power."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Ah the friendly smile of the chesire cat. I know it well. :-) See SG, I dont think women have feeble minds. In fact they occasionally keep me on my toes, with there verbal quickness and directness. I do think women are designed/evolved a certain way, and untill they are aware of it and acknowledge it and accept it, they wont be able to (minimally)control it anymore then if I would be able to (minimally) control myself if I didnt acknowledge who and what I am.
See we no longer have strict externally enforced boundaries on adultery like we used to. It wasnt 100% effective then, its certainly not going to be effective relying on internal boundaries, in our culture, for myriads of reasons. Im inclined to believe your previous 'inevitible' statement. I was just hoping you would expound from a femal POV.
There were never effective external boundaries against adultery, at any point in human history. Look at Y-DNA studies to see how completely unrelated Y-Chromosomes filter into families where they have no business of being. There used to be effective external boundaries against divorce, at least in our society. Not the same thing.
But yes, I’m totally with you that we each as individuals need to set up their own external boundaries, which was the gist of my post to the ICs. Much more efficient, imo.
As for the “inevitable”: a girl, left alone to completely tend her own fences, will not usually feel honored that you trust her so much, she’ll think you don’t care if the fence holds or not, and act accordingly.
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Either you believe I am a superior male, which prompts me to not trust you, because you cant discern reality, and are going to expect more then my fair share from me in a R, or your being sarcastic and self deprecating. My ego is large enough, I dont like having it fluffed.
If your ego is fluffed by sarcasm I applaud you for its adaptability.
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See Ill let you in on a secret. Give away one of my weaknesses. Lets see what you do with it. I dont have an original or creative bone in my body. What I do have is a slightly high level of comprehension and take apparently disparate concepts and put them together.
That’s not a weakness, that’s actually a useful talent. You recognize patterns. As do I. That’s why I always do well on standardized tests because all they really are is pattern recognition. What you have to remember is that it’s only valid when you’re looking at fairly large numbers and may or may not be helpful on an individual level.
I understand you’re a man on a mission, you want use your insights into patterns for the benefit of your brethren and use the women here on your chessboard to demonstrate the Grand Strategy: “see, if I move my Knight like this women will respond by protecting their Bishop” and hope it will be useful to the men. Which is fine, in and of itsself.
But I distinctly recall from reading “The Guide to Getting it On” as a teen that it basically said “we interviewed thousands of people, male, female, old, young, gay, straight, about their sexual preferences .. and the only thing they all had in common is that they all enjoy a good backrub”.
Doesn’t mean that patterns aren’t very useful, just that they have limitations, especially in something as fickle and multi-factorial as sexual attraction in long term human pair bonding. Something that applies to “most women” may or may not apply to your wife or girlfriend, simply because she may be farther up or down the greyscale than the average.
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Thats my style, this was yours. both work for the intended.
I agree.
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ascerbic sarcasm from a southern girl. must be one of those bayou girls, and not a belle. Highly unrefined. Im cut to the quick of my wide heart. [sound of ice tinkles]
All Belles are part lace and part rapier. Some of us are almost all rapier.
ROTFLMAO- I think it was Stigmata who said he used the code "I am not a nice guy." which also falls under the category you describe if you think you know better.
Of course, the guy you REALLY want to avoid is the one who says he has a puppy (or some candy in his car) but doesn't. Actually, now that I think about it anybody who would say that he didn't have a puppy would actually have to have a puppy somewhere unless he was a very stupid psychopath.
It's a wash, because they both end up eaten. The girl falling victim to the guy in your example can at least say she was deceived.
Or maybe the woman is faking "bunny" to get what she really wants - to be "eaten" by the wolf. He maintains his "stud" status and she goes home alone...with a smile on her face. But again, not all women would go for that scenario either. More women today though than in the past.
Or maybe the woman is faking "bunny" to get what she really wants - to be "eaten" by the wolf. He maintains his "stud" status and she goes home alone...with a smile on her face. But again, not all women would go for that scenario either. More women today though than in the past.
LFL
In which case she would be that "predator of equal status, without loose bunnies."
I can see why you would either be called "cute" or "hot". At my best, the bad boys found lounging in 1980's HS hallways or modern casinos usually called me "a babe" of course I always wanted to be a "stone fox" but I could never get quite that thin or act quite that cool and my hair never feathered quite right (sigh) and those beotches always stole my BFs.
I thought of you when I read an essay in O magazine a while back that said that when people project simple but sincere non-sexual interest they often are read as signaling sexual interest because the body language is the same. For instance, you might lean in because you are fascinated by what some guy is saying but he might read it as "I am open to being physically close to you."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
t's a wash, because they both end up eaten. The girl falling victim to the guy in your example can at least say she was deceived. ;\)
Ummm...in my example the girl would have ended up in a car trunk and then maybe a river. Little red round-toed bunkey shoe washed up on shore.
Yeah. Right. I meant she could say it if she could talk afterwards, but she can't, being wolfroast.
The thing I'm not sure LFL is clear on (or you either, too be honest Mojo) is that you can't isolate the sexual wolf from the rest of the man. I don't mean blackfoot, I'm talking generally here. Men who offer wolf-sex are going to act "wolf" outside of the bedroom, at least in my limited experience. And if "wolf" is what they show you in the dating scene you better believe that's exactly what you'll get if you're in a LTR with them, and don't expect them to fit into your romantic vision of a Wild Animal Kept In Check By Your Great Love (or even by Your Great Sex, for that matter). Those are fairy tales. Variety is the meat of Wolves. (Again, not talking about "you" specifically Mojo, this is a generic you).
We can't fluidly switch between wife/mother/wild lover and most men can't either. If "wolf" is the dominant persona they settle on please only approach if you're in it for the thrill of the hunt/chase, and keep any straggling bunnies at home well out of sight.
