WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..(2)

[jab]

Status update the AM:

W never came back to apt. I was sad last night but that is understandable.

W showed up this morning to pick up kids. W was in a much better mood (I think best mood all week) but had a big hangover. I was laughing inside. Her friend who was 'designated driver' got drunk & they had to get friend's husband to come pick them up. I LOVED this, W now sees that it's not only me that does these things! Her friend is just as bad as I was!

W had a good time, night was a success! I showed W she can go out with friends and I can handle it! I need to learn how to keep doing this. This was an issue with our M in the past.

On another note, reading posts from frank_D last night. VERY EDUCATIONAL! There are so many parallels/similarities between me & you that I feel like I have 'awakened' even more last night. Frank, your life was VERY similar to mine. I am a hardware engineer, you are a software engineer. I grew up in a similar situation (financially poor, many divorces, feeling alone, unwanted & worthless, was the 'genius' of the family, inner strength to handle bad situations, couldn't rely on others, the computer lab was my escape from home life, there are several more) I can relate to you alot! What you have been feeling about 'fixing' everything is me. My biggest fear right now is that I neglect 'fixing' myself in the process of 'fixing' my M. I think that was part of my issue for the past several years, I was so involved with 'fixing' our financial situation that I neglected my W, my M, myself (thus, going into a deep depression which caused excessive drinking). Reading some of your insights and experiences will certainly help me move forward to another level.

I am grateful for this website. People like COG, AmyC, frank_D, several others are like having 'free counseling' of the best kind. These aren't people who went to school to get a counseling degree or license. These are people who have experienced similar situations first hand, who have had successes where others have failed, who are intelligent and giving enough to teach others like me and give advice. Thanks for helping me understand my W and even more understand myself & MY situation! I also thank my higher power for giving me the intelligence & strength to survive thus far (not just my M, but LIFE).

P.S. - (((((AmyC)))))