PS, It is true that feelings have a life of their own. Thoughts are a different matter--we do have influence over what our interpretations of our feelings are.
Try breaking it into feelings and beliefs. For example, when you don't know where your H is this creates fear. What are your thoughts, interpretations, or beliefs about this? This isn't conveyed in yours posts.
Once you're able to articulate and clarify what your beliefs are about your feelings, you can then decide whether or not they are valid, or not accurate. You can then modify them to something more accurate.
This may or may not tame the feeling, but at least you won't add to your own suffering, by adding your own layer to the event. The goal is to be able to face and experience what is happening in our lives and respond in the healthiest way possible. It doesn't mean that we necessarily get to be comfortable.
The other piece of advice is to make sure that you're keeping some balance in your life--recreation, exercise, hobbies, connection.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
