First post

[One Day]

Hey Mr,

This time of year is hard, but you need to stay strong. Remember what Michele says- a happy, together spouse is the more attractive person to be around.

Your W has said you need to let go, so would it be worth trying to show her that you are? Of course you aren't giving up on the M (or letting go of it/her), you are giving her a vacation from you so can she what she's missing out on. Keep Dbing- it does get easier with time, and you will get stronger.

Lisa

[mrarow]

This is not easy but its worth it I have many hearts to think about right now. My youngest D-3 was talking to my oldest D-1 today about mom taking her and My oldest was telling her that she has a choice if mom leaves and could stay here with dad. I told them both to relax its not about them and mom is still here. I told them I love them. This is crazy I can't believe all this is happening I just wish the nightmare would end. When W came home from work we talked a little about how everything we own even all my stuff from my life before is all hers and I just agreed but did say this was gett silly and did not like where it was going. She did text me today and say she wanted me to forgive her for being so selfish and hurting me. I texted back stating I already had forgiven her and that I understood what she was feeling. I made dinner for the girls and W did not eat with us said she had late lunch. Got cleaned up and left to go to hang with Girlfriend for evening. I was pleasant and wished her a fun night. No hugs no kisses. This is a challenge but well worth my prize! I hope I can keep positive.

[mrarow]

Thanks I am tring to be positive....

[mrarow]

Still puttering along here..... I was positive last night, ate dinner with D-1 and D-3 but W did not eat with us said she had late lunch did laundry when W phoned and asked me to finish what she had started. She stayed out late with girlfriend and was drinking because when I went to bed I texted "Nite XOXO" and went to bed. Got a text 5 min later saying she was almost home and would come say goodnight. She got home kissed me goodnight and I attempted to ask her to sit with me but caught myself seeing her expression and said have sweet dreams smiled turned over and she left and went upstairs to bed. Well so far so good today no issues except my anxiety about the OM and W and our terrible situation this time of year. I keep thinking she is going to want a separation after Christmas but hopefully I can remain positive DB and she will remain under this roof. Man I hope there is some intimacy with her in my future this is a killer hard!!

[WAS32]

Hello mrarow...i was thinking about you today and your sitch. I'm glad you had an okay day today. It's better than a bad day. I think you handled the situation last night very well. I know it was probably really hard on you but keep it up. I know the more I act like I'm okay and happy the more interest my H shows in me. He was very surprised to see X-mas stuff up when he got here yesterday. And I just kept on doing my normal things even though he was here. You need to do more of what you did last night more often. Happy you will help lots.

I don't know why my pm said it was full there is nothing in it. Maybe try again or try my email. [e-mail]

Keep smiling!!!!

[mrarow]

Grrrrrrr! I am so bummed when W and I talk she is so deflating and negative about our relationship. It is so hard to just sit back and agree with her feelings and not speak out or defend my relationship and our future together. I wish she would stop using it as justification to be having an affair. She has made it very clear I am still being way to pressuring about my feelings and This I MUST STOP!!! I hope I can get a grip on this Cheeseless tunnel. I think I just have to accept its over and quit tiring to make her feel anything and just worry about making me feel better while I wait to see if she ever wakes up and wants me back. I am having a very hard time with the no sex thing as well. That make for pressure conversation every time....
I need my W in so many ways she was my best friend companion and lover all in one! She was and is a part of me and its so hard not to want to just sit and Cry......

[mrarow]

Ok had a good cry and now feel like I need to keep plugging along. I got a grip in time last night before my wife came home and came down to say goodnight. I will say we talked a bit and she said sorry for continuing to hurt me and I told her that I understood but just did not like our situation and understood her pain and confusion. We talked a bit about my needs and hers thru this and guess what? She took some stress off of me, pleased me and said good night with a kiss before heading to bed herself. Hope that's the start of something more regular. MUST BE UPBEAT AND POSITIVE NOW! I PROMISED TO CONTINUE TO TRY AND GIVE HER THE SPACE SHE WANTS AND I NEED TO FOLLOW THRU!!

I need my W in so many ways she was my best friend companion and lover all in one!

Why don't you concentrate on the friend part? Be caring and supportive, but not overbearing. You're not going to get anywhere without being friends first.

She was and is a part of me

That doesn't sound a healthy way to think about it. She was a part of your life, but you existed before she was on the scene.

As for her being so negative - That's par for the course, and it's a stressful time of year for everyone. Folks are wound up, frustrated and everything is so very inconsistent. Just back off and spend some time on yourself. If you're still pushing her when you're together, just be sure to bite your tongue or start resolving your problems on your own.

[mrarow]

D-3 seems to be rebelling against me tonight as well and has been very distraught and upset lately. I have been very supportive and tiring to be there for her but she has a big tendency to manipulate to get what she wants and has been using the situation to get extra attention. I guess this is normal? I am getting her to C right after Christmas. W is out again tonight without me and wont be home till late I was told. Have Work Christmas dinner tomorrow night with Her and my D-3. Supposed to be family orientated this year with entertainers for the kids,I hope that turns out well......

[mrarow]

I have and will try and continue to just be her friend. I need to get it together. Home alown tonight going to read and take it easy. She was and i feel still is a big part of my life and socialy I have been taken out at the knees losing three of my best friends and the circle we shared. makes it very hard this time of year. Tring to make the best of it. Thanks for the input and suport.