I'll say it. You're buying her. I don't see a problem with it as long as it's affordable, the peace and cooperation is worth it IMHO. I see you're forcing her to see the changes you've made as well, I think she sees them anyway but at least now you know for a fact that she is even if she won't acknowledge them, that in itself should give you some peace of mind I hope.
I have been guilty lately of "buying" my STBXW as well. I've been giving her $$$ so she can buy the kids clothes and things, this is a 180 from what I've done over the last year and I have to admit that getting her to take on some responsibility as far as shopping and spending time with the kids has been a load off my shoulders. It has also brought some peace into the sitch as well, I've had only one spew in the last 4 months, I met it head on with some spew of my own and hung up on her, I got a call an hour from a crying STBXW apologizing for her spew.
My attitude is getting better daily and there is a new level of co parenting now, it's taken nearly 2 years to get to this point but I feel better than I have for those years and we are actually getting along better than we have as well.
You are doing so much better and it certainly is showing, I bet she sees it too.
