This COULD be, as you say, her "asking permission." Probably is. But it could also be her hoping he'll step up and defend her -- fight for her. It's hard to say, but the GOOD news for mcol is, his response to either possibility can (and should) still be the same:
Firmness.
My wife told me after she ended her affair, and we were reconciling, that she was, indeed, looking for me to notice her, to fight for her, to admire her and show that I was attracted to her. I asked her how the HELL I was supposed to do that when she was having an affair, and she admitted it was stupid (and wrong), but it IS, nevertheless, what she was looking for from me.
