Cat, This all sounds so familiar. I remember during MC once, my H said that he didn't think it was right to fake the affectionate feelings if we didn't really feel them. The MC, like yours, said that you have to start "faking it", then it will come more naturally. I mean, we didnt' get to this point in our Ms for no reason. We all need to change SOME behaviors, that may not feel natural.
As for the addiction, I remembered reading that As are addictions a long time ago. But then I experienced it with H.... and wow, the books were right. In my H's case, he knew he didn't want to be with OW, he knew he didn't want to spend his life with her, he didn't love her, yet he seemed unable to resist the pull of her. My H's OW was also relentless, sending him TMs about how she can't stop thinking about him, asking if he's wearing is special underwear, etc. But I digress... As are addictions. Think about how powerful that infatuation feeling is at the beginning of an R.
Rs are not about the infatuation feeling. Real Rs are about partnership... resolving conflict... intimacy... seeing each other's best and worst.
Your H is working through all this right now. He's in a dark place right now. He needs time to come to these conculsions on his own.
You need your MC to guide the two of you. And I also do firmly agree that your H needs IC so he can talk some of these things out without the pressure of you being there.
Hang in there.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
