All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[25yearsmlc]

Dis
Too tired to post well. But what about saying "Call me after 10pm" or Not before 9 am, or setting some boundary that allows you a breather...and maybe even a life of your own?. The SINGLE advantage to his having the kids is you getting some "me" time and you have to take advantage of that. And that does NOT include his calling to interrupt, at HIS leisure-- notice. Come up with agreed upon times. the kids can call to say good night, between 9 and 9:30 or whatever 30 min time works for YOU and the Kids. Don't let it be more than a 30 minute window b/c you have the right to take a bath uninterrupted, or to converse with an adult that way. And kids like the structure of knowing when they're going to speak to you and they can save up things to tell you so that you don't have the long awkward silences kids have when they forgot what they wanted to say and you sit there, with your evening interrupted without really knowing if there's a game going on and your kids are pawns...

Remember what it might be like for HIM when YOU have the kids. How often do you call him? Do you text him repeatedly and get mad when he doesn't respond? Don't.
I get the feeling he's calling the shots, figuratively and literally.

Answer a text once with "I'm fine and safe and will call the kids at the agreed upon time." He can text with an emergency. Otherwise, stick to the plan. Enforce it, if only b/c you NEED to know you have some time of your own. We all do. And he needs to see that the limitations HE placed on your M, are also limits on HIM, not just you and your expecation levels going down the tubes. Start lowering his expectations of what he is "entitled to" from you, given...:"the givens" he gave you.
Make sense? There are more forward steps than backslides, so hold those backslides to a minimum and LOSE expecations so that you won't backslide. He has most of the work to do now, as far as the R/M is concerned. You need to work on YOU and GAL....good for you...you go girl!
j-