IMP you touched the core - i still struggle to know what is i and what is right by me
me, h - 40+ m-20+ s, d, ss - 20+ s, ow, pa since 04.2007 h back and forth 01.2008 - 05.2008 h decided to be w/ow 05.13.2008 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1415899&page=1&fpart=1
One thing I would say is follow what's inside. I assume the reason you are here on the board is that you would like to have the chance to save your marriage. Let that be your guide. I also think people close to you will want to shield you from hurt.
I know how tough this is on you. You are in the place where you are the one who has to place themselves in harm's way. I did have a feeling what your first thought would be. I would never criticize that thought.
I said this somewhere else, and I think it is right. I would bend a lot more at Christmas than an ordinary time. It is your choice, in this one case, I think your heart needs to be your guide, not necessarily DBing.
IMP - thank you) it is also about wanting to be perfect and the reality to be so far from perfection especially lately when life seems really unmanageable due to emotions having the mind of their own and not cooperating much. i didn't decorate home, and it is not very clean, and the gifts are not wrapped, and-and-and( i want magic to happen and my strength to come back and my spirit soar and-and-and)
me, h - 40+ m-20+ s, d, ss - 20+ s, ow, pa since 04.2007 h back and forth 01.2008 - 05.2008 h decided to be w/ow 05.13.2008 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1415899&page=1&fpart=1
Not strictly at all. Just the availability thing, and how much do you jump. I'm just saying I'd be more flexible now, than otherwise. May have worded it poorly.
IMP - if you read the sit before, you know, that i am going to nyc tomorrow w/kids my other first thought was to invite him to go w/us - it might be impossible for logistical reasons (he is out if the country) but he might be able to do it if i ask what do you think?
me, h - 40+ m-20+ s, d, ss - 20+ s, ow, pa since 04.2007 h back and forth 01.2008 - 05.2008 h decided to be w/ow 05.13.2008 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1415899&page=1&fpart=1
Well, I am not IMP... but.... Do you want him there? I get the feeling the added stress might mess up the whole thing you are hoping to have with the kids. SO that's point 1.
Is the might be able to a pretty easy might, or a pain in the neck. If it is hard, the stress goes up. see point 1.
But, your first though was to invite him. First thoughts are often good thoughts.
So, I fear, I can't give good advice, other than to think about what you think will work bet for you and the kids.
