WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..(2)

[jab]

In fact, the more short calls there are, the more I would start laughing. Really!

It's interesting that you say this because most of the calls to OM that were on the last phone bill were short. It caught my curiosity then....hmmmm

Well, here's today's update:

W called me and asked if I wanted to goto S6 xmas recital/party at his school. At first I said I couldn't but then called her back & said I really wanted to go. Worked out a good plan & W picked me up from work early.

Things between W and I seemed pretty friendly & cheerful for the most part. We did get on a brief conversation in car about her thinking that I had a problem with her going out with friends to have a good time. I think the conversation started regarding the trip in FEB that she was invited to, but cancelled. It sounded like she was choosing me over the trip to me, she didn't come out and say that but it appeared that way. I told her not to make her choice on how I feel about it. I was only a little disappointed because it was the weekend I finished IHD & I may have wanted to do something that weekend (that may or may not have been the right thing to say, but hey I'm GALing, right?) I expressed that I never wanted her NOT to go out with her friends without me & have a good time. That wasn't the issue. Same goes for tonight. I wanted to let her know that I think she should have a good time with her friends. It's the getting drunk, going to bars, staying out all night, potential for getting herself into a bad situation that I was concerned about. I told her yes, I was a little jealous because I miss going out with my friends, going out with her, but not let that stop her from having a good time and doing what she wants.

Recital worked out ok & W was very talkative & friendly, but noticed W acting a little strange, distant during the party in S6 classroom. Honestly, I felt out of place there because i was the only Dad there but cherished the time with family anyway.

Off to 'our' house then. First time since S that I was there. I cooked dinner for family while W got ready to go out. Still seemed like W was a little distant but I just kept marching on ASIF. W asked me how she looked, I gave honest compliments, gave opinions on choices of clothing (this was a small 180 for me because I usually have no opinion about these things). There were some strange questions about whether I'd be up to moving back to the east coast. W's parents offered a house where they live because of her father's condition. I basically said I'd be up to the idea if we moved as a FAMILY. I'd have no reason to move if it were SEPERATELY. She could do what she wanted but I wasn't up for it unless we were together. W said she wouldn't do it then. W didn't want to seperate me from kids. I really didn't have a good 'feeling' about that question. Things were going ok but W still seemed a little more distant than she has been. From my experience the last couple months this usually means W is up to something that she doesn't want me to know about or feels nervous/guilty about. Maybe this retracting is normal & that's not the reason, I'm not the expert.

Anyhow, now off to apt with kids. W briefly stopped in. W asked ME if I wanted to give her a key in case she needed it. She reiterated that she doesn't know what she's going to do or end up. I said, I'm not expecting anything. Go out with your friends, have a good time, coming back here to sleep is just another choice in case things go bad or not as planned for you. You just have another place to go if you need to. Then she left. This time no hug, no nothing. I didn't 'reach' for it either. I was disappointed, though (I didn't show it). I just said nicely, 'have a great time, have a good nite, see you later!'

So now I am here with kids until AM (will try not to think about W & what she is doing, where she ends up tonite). Will spend some time with kids tonight & have 1 more day of work before long weekend. I'll see W when she shows up. I'll see W & kids again on SAT for presents before they fly out of state for xmas. I have plans with old friends on xmas day. I have alot of projects over the weekend to keep me going. I honestly think I acted ASIF pretty well today & did a good job. The only concerns I am having is W's question about moving, my answer & her reply, W acting so distant & no offer to hug/kiss. There is a definite retracting/distancing going on compared to last week. I hope this is normal and ok because it bothers me a little bit. I feel like I'm moving backward for some reason & I don't know why it's happening.