well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[peaceful_spirit]

Cat,
I know how you're feeling... EXACTLY. My H went though a lot of this, but in a much shorter timeframe. My H did the back and forth thing with OW many times every few weeks. And one time, I he saw me waiting at his apartment for him and he tried to turn his car around, like a coward.

The fact is, they are cowards. They are afraid of pain. So, they will do what they need to to avoid pain. Your H has lost his "feelings" for you. And the infatuaiton feelings of his A make him feel alive. But they are fantasy. Your H clearly sounds depressed. If your H is willing to really commit to getting the help he needs, IMO, no need to throw him out. He is lost. He is a mess. He probably feels like an ass. but he was acting on his emotions, which is never a good thing.

You are strong. And no matter what, you'll be okay. You WILL do right by your kids. And financially, you'll find a way. So know that if you and your H end up D, you will be fine... great even. However, there still may be hope. if you H is aware of his state of mind and willing to get help, there is hope.

Just see how this plays out. And in the meantime, protect yourself, emotionally and financially.