FWIW...I'm not defending IC's actions so much as I'm defending mine. The flirting that you all see on here from IC is not reality and I took it with the grain of salt that it is. I don't want it to seem that I am just some little meek spouse following along behind her husband and letting him flirt with every girl that comes along....It's not like that. Yes, he's witty and fresh with the ladies on here, but I've never been in a situation with IC in real life where any of his comments have made me feel uncomfortable or as if he were flirting.
I'm at a loss for why this happened. This does not change things for me right now, but if you people only knew the real IC you would see how atypical this action is from him. That is what is making this all the more difficult for me.
MissIC, I never thought you were a weak little girl too timid to speak up if something is bothering her. I didn't explain myself well. Let me try again.
My personal philosophy is that everyone is capable of an affair, given the right circumstances. There is no magic shield, no prior pain experienced, that will suddenly make you "wise" and "unable to inflict this sort of pain on others". If you read these boards long enough you'll see more BS-turned-WS than it takes to fill a football stadium on Superbowl night. I'm very, very suspicious if someone claims this could "nevah" happen to them "because they're just Not That Sort of Chap". They get my vote for next in line for a dose of humility 101.
I'd be willing to place a lot more faith in someone who said, "yes, I've been That Sort of Chap. Hated it. Don't ever want it to happen again. But I know that I'm human, and may be weak in the future. So I'll watch myself, and my marriage, and be very careful not to place myself in dangerous situations. I'll not have intimate friendships with people of the opposite sex that don't include my spouse. I'll not go to bars, or other pick-up places, alone. I'll watch the way I communicate to people of the opposite sex, however innocently."
Because small things add up, and disaster is usually not an elaborate plan to deceive, but the collision of unfortunate circumstances combined with the failure to put in several rows of safeguards.
The question isn't really "why", it is "how". The Why's are all the same, basically, and so ingrained into our human nature that you can't ever totally eliminate them. You can fix the how's.
There, in a nutshell, is the World of Human Relationships According to SG. Did I make myself any clearer this time?
