LOL, yeah until you actually live DBing all the words are pretty and seem to make sense in that book. And then you actually start doing them and its like...clarity.
Agree with both Imp and GMan.
My share RC? I'm a better person, can't buy that with money, right?
The seeking new jobs? I believe, from my exprience, is part of the dissatisfaction of their lives, seeking new ways to improve it, just one of the changes sought. One of the better outlets for seeking change in the MLC, IMO.
By the way, are YOU sure she is MLC? You know her better than anyone here.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
My input is that if the kids want to do what they are used to and comfortable with, do it. If you're fine with it, do it. If she wants to go, fine. If she doesn't, fine.
I am at the point where I do not pander to my MLC'er anymore. The boys and I are spending NYE like we usually do, spending the night with friends. W will likely not want to go, which is fine. It's her loss.
And realizing that tone can be difficult to convey in emails and posts, I'm not vindictive. It's just that life goes on with or without our WAS's.
BTW, on telling the kids, I CHOSE not to participate when she wanted to tell them, but not out of blame, but in the way and timing she chose to tell them. After a day we spend together as a family, trimming the tree, watching movies, and RIGHT BEFORE THEY WENT TO BED!!! She also dropped the D bomb right away, which my C said was NOT the way to do it.
But every sitch is different. Hang in there, GAL, and take care of your kids.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
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Yes Michele wrote the book--and a very fine job she did.
But she needs conduits since she cannot be everywhere and offer direct assistance to each individual.
It's interesting that you use the term conduit. When I say may prayers each night I ask God to that I may be a conductor of his love and energy--after first thanking him. I just realized that may sound like a a leadership role as in a symphony conductor. But my meaning is more as you said--a conduit.
now some more drama--last night my wife calls and says the neighbor's(EA, possible PA) xgf has called him and threatened to hurt my w and herself. i didn't know how to act. I told her she should call the police. I asked her if she wanted to ask my 22 yo nephew to come over and stay with her and she agreed. I called this morning to see how everything went because i kind of got worrie that an ambulance passed me as i passed her block on the way to bring my d11 to school. She said everything went ok but made a point to tell me neighbor called 3 times last night worrying about her....that pissed me off but i played it off and said goodbye. In wish this #@!@!!@ would drop off the face of the earth, he has helped to destroy my family, hurt my kids, etc, etc! --that feels better!
H 42 W 37 M17 T20 years 3 daughters 11,11,14 seperated 11/26/07 EA neighbor/ moved in w/ him 2/8 Filed for D 01/08 finalized soon
Patrick, You did good in playing it off.She got herself into this mess she needs to figure it out. Any help from you might seem like pushing. The only thing you can do is validate maybe ask if she's OK. (just once) and then drop it. Make sure the kids are safe. Don't worry about the OM...he's gotta answer to the big man himself. Be Cool.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
I agree, the only thing is if the two of them "are" just friends why would he continue to cause problems for my wife and her family...then again she probably gives him her negative mlc view...i guess i'm getting better, I'm answering my own questions!
H 42 W 37 M17 T20 years 3 daughters 11,11,14 seperated 11/26/07 EA neighbor/ moved in w/ him 2/8 Filed for D 01/08 finalized soon
