It's early yet (H has only been home around 3 weeks officially), but we joined a church last Sunday that we both absolutely LOVE and we've gotten involved in a "Marriage Matters" class through them. There are a lot of couples in the class that are working on much of the same sort of stuff that we are (not necessarily affairs, but other general marriage problems) and it's good to have a support group with similar goals.
We are taking a short trip, just the 2 of us, from Dec. 27-Jan. 1 to visit some friends of ours.
That should be fun.
We are talking and being open and sharing things with each other. Already starting to work together as a team again.
He will be fully DONE with any connection with OW by Jan. He is still going to pay half rent for Jan. as they agreed on that when they broke up. At the time he wasn't sure how long he was staying there before moving back home, but the move home was quicker than we had thought it would be.
We just felt it was better for him to be home rather than sharing an apartment with her. Too much room for temptation and he was so ready to be done with her that he just wanted out.
Luckily so far she's not been the clingy type and says that she is done with him as well and seems to have pretty well moved on with her life (thank goodness!)
They are pretty much NC except for the occasional email concerning bills they still share or for her to tell him when she's going out of town so he can use those opportunities to move the rest of his stuff out of the apartment. He lets me see all those. They are very rare. I think there have been 2 email exchanges in the 3 weeks he has been home.
All in all things are good right now. I still feel at times like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I feel less of that everyday. I have no illusions that this will be a road of all cupcakes and roses, but I do have hopes that it won't be as hard as some have had. (one can always hope, can't one???).
OK - I'm setting out the chocolate (the good Ghiardelli stuff). Don't push and be polite and save some for the next person.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
