My input is that if the kids want to do what they are used to and comfortable with, do it. If you're fine with it, do it. If she wants to go, fine. If she doesn't, fine.

I am at the point where I do not pander to my MLC'er anymore. The boys and I are spending NYE like we usually do, spending the night with friends. W will likely not want to go, which is fine. It's her loss.

And realizing that tone can be difficult to convey in emails and posts, I'm not vindictive. It's just that life goes on with or without our WAS's.

BTW, on telling the kids, I CHOSE not to participate when she wanted to tell them, but not out of blame, but in the way and timing she chose to tell them. After a day we spend together as a family, trimming the tree, watching movies, and RIGHT BEFORE THEY WENT TO BED!!! She also dropped the D bomb right away, which my C said was NOT the way to do it.

But every sitch is different. Hang in there, GAL, and take care of your kids.

Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.