So, the pain seems to lessen every day. Every now and then I get a pang of it but not as bad. No anxieties (well besides worrying about financial stuff and the kids), but nothing of the doom and gloom compare to the previous bomb. Almost as if I'm just numb and I'm just there. I don't care much of anything anymore ATM. I'm sure something will hit me again when she really starts being involved with someone, but that's for me to deal with as it comes. Not sure how do I let go yet and still be open if there are chances down the road. Any suggestions on how I should cope would be great.
W continues to be very nice. Wonder if that'll change once she starts seeing other people.... Going back reading my journals, I was doing so great and so optimistic just a week ago. Praying to God that things will be easier next year. I know I've grown as a person and I will continue to do that. Learned a ton about myself, relationships, and what's important to me in life. At least I know I'm addressing my issues and my screw ups and hopefully I won't repeat my mistakes again next time around whether it's with her or someone else. Feel sad that W is not accepting her responsibilities and looking within to address her own issues. I know she will stumble on them again and get hurt again. It breaks my heart to see her being hurt, but she has to learn those things on her own.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
