I haven’t read all of your posts, but I was asked by a close friend to read the last few and give you some advice as she felt there were many similarities between you and I!
First of all, I’ll preface with the fact that I am a recovering crazymaker. Much like a recovering alcoholic would be recovering from alcohol – I’ll always crave it! I’ve worked through that, and after 4 years apart and a divorce in the mix I am now re-married to my WAH. It took a lot, but I can tell you that I am a whole new person when it comes to handling control and conflict.
So, having said that, can I ask you a couple of questions? (There’s the first, I guess!)
When you say that ‘he took his good time coming over’ and then mentioned that he thought you were antsy and a pain in the butt, how closely were the two related? Did you tell HIM that he took his good time? Or did he derive your thoughts from your mood?
This is important because this DB process is so much focused on ourselves. So if we can take an aspect of ourselves that may be sending negative energy and focus it into positive energy, we’re moving forward. To stay negative is to stay stuck.
SO. What if we spin it like this? Is there something positive about the interaction? Don’t say no! There is. The positive factor is that he came. He came over to take care of D8. I know, I know, he wanted to take her to his house and he was slow in coming and he seemed annoyed and whatever…but you can’t focus on that. You instead focus on the positive, telling yourself it is GREAT that he is coming to help. Then when he gets there, go all happy on his arse and say “Thanks! I really appreciate you helping out” and leave it. Don’t get into logistics about who lives in what house. Don’t get antsy. Just stay positive.
You mentioned being agnostic in your previous post. I’ll keep my own religious views out of this, but have you listened to the audio book, The Secret? I highly recommend it if you haven’t. I don’t find that I “pray” easily, but this audio book focuses a lot on the power of thought. For someone like me who doesn’t get much of a connection from prayer itself, it has done wonders. The author escapes my mind at the moment, but it’s the one recommended by Oprah.
Hang in there! It’s a process, not an event!
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
