One more thought, from my own experience, I wouldn't put much faith in her reading the book. She'll just view it as one more way to force her to have sex.
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
I havent tried the 180 yet. Im not real sure how to do it. Getting mad and hurt and resentful and talking about all the sex were NOT having isnt helping the situation though. I dont bring it up much anymore but it is ALWAYS nagging at the back of my head. Especially last week when we didnt do it for my b-day. All the way home from work I had the repetitive thought 'Maybe she'll relaize she was selfish and hurtful and i'll come home and she'll grab me and take me to the bedroom and work me over' But as I walk in the door its the same thing, t-shirt, sweatpants and TV till 10. She recently changed her BC, after a year of me CAREFULLY suggesting it to her. SO maybe that will make a difference. Its really the only hope I have left. Im trying to tough it out for a year so I can say at least I gave it a chance.
I havent tried the 180 yet. Im not real sure how to do it. Getting mad and hurt and resentful and talking about all the sex were NOT having isnt helping the situation though. I dont bring it up much anymore but it is ALWAYS nagging at the back of my head. Especially last week when we didnt do it for my b-day. All the way home from work I had the repetitive thought 'Maybe she'll relaize she was selfish and hurtful and i'll come home and she'll grab me and take me to the bedroom and work me over' But as I walk in the door its the same thing, t-shirt, sweatpants and TV till 10. She recently changed her BC, after a year of me CAREFULLY suggesting it to her. SO maybe that will make a difference. Its really the only hope I have left. Im trying to tough it out for a year so I can say at least I gave it a chance.
I havent tried the 180 yet. Im not real sure how to do it. Getting mad and hurt and resentful and talking about all the sex were NOT having isnt helping the situation though. I dont bring it up much anymore but it is ALWAYS nagging at the back of my head. Especially last week when we didnt do it for my b-day. All the way home from work I had the repetitive thought 'Maybe she'll relaize she was selfish and hurtful and i'll come home and she'll grab me and take me to the bedroom and work me over' But as I walk in the door its the same thing, t-shirt, sweatpants and TV till 10. She recently changed her BC, after a year of me CAREFULLY suggesting it to her. SO maybe that will make a difference. Its really the only hope I have left. Im trying to tough it out for a year so I can say at least I gave it a chance.
I havent tried the 180 yet. Im not real sure how to do it. Getting mad and hurt and resentful and talking about all the sex were NOT having isnt helping the situation though. I dont bring it up much anymore but it is ALWAYS nagging at the back of my head. Especially last week when we didnt do it for my b-day. All the way home from work I had the repetitive thought 'Maybe she'll relaize she was selfish and hurtful and i'll come home and she'll grab me and take me to the bedroom and work me over' But as I walk in the door its the same thing, t-shirt, sweatpants and TV till 10. She recently changed her BC, after a year of me CAREFULLY suggesting it to her. SO maybe that will make a difference. Its really the only hope I have left. Im trying to tough it out for a year so I can say at least I gave it a chance.
I havent tried the 180 yet. Im not real sure how to do it. Getting mad and hurt and resentful and talking about all the sex were NOT having isnt helping the situation though. I dont bring it up much anymore but it is ALWAYS nagging at the back of my head. Especially last week when we didnt do it for my b-day. All the way home from work I had the repetitive thought 'Maybe she'll relaize she was selfish and hurtful and i'll come home and she'll grab me and take me to the bedroom and work me over' But as I walk in the door its the same thing, t-shirt, sweatpants and TV till 10. She recently changed her BC, after a year of me CAREFULLY suggesting it to her. SO maybe that will make a difference. Its really the only hope I have left. Im trying to tough it out for a year so I can say at least I gave it a chance.
All the way home from work I had the repetitive thought 'Maybe she'll relaize she was selfish and hurtful and i'll come home and she'll grab me and take me to the bedroom and work me over'
Magical thinking.
Quote:
She recently changed her BC, after a year of me CAREFULLY suggesting it to her. SO maybe that will make a difference.
More magical thinking.
Quote:
Im trying to tough it out for a year so I can say at least I gave it a chance.
How brave of you! Your martyrdom will surely be recognized. One suggestion: tell HER that you're going to tough it out for a year. Be radically honest. What have you got to lose, except a YEAR of your life?
There's an old Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of everything he would normally be inclined to do. He's amazed at the response.
Here's what you do. Starting right now, stop asking for sex. Don't even act like you're interested in sex. Act is if you're getting laid every night. Don't mope around. Don't cry, beg, or plead. BACK OFF and give her lots of space. Act happy and cheerful, but not annoyingly so. Focus on yourself. Find a project, hobby, something that will engross you. And be patient. Continue this behavior without fail for several days and see what happens. This behavior drove my wife nuts, and she finally started talking to me again.
She will ask questions about your behavior. My wife asked me "Are you on drugs or something?" Don't be surprised if she suddenly decides to initiate sex. If she does, be prepared for a backlash. She will probably tell you it sucked for her. And you say: "Sorry honey. But it sure clicked for me." And go back to being your normal happy self, and don't ask for any more sex.
Give it a try for a while. You got nothing to lose. Keep us posted on how it works.
And Hairdog's right. Quit killing yourself with your expectations.
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
