MissIC, I'm so sorry. You're a brave, strong woman, and whatever you decide to do don't forget that.
IC, if you're very lucky, this episode will one day be something you both can look back upon, not with joy certainly, but as something that's only a small incident in a whole life together.
Don't count on it.
MissIC has every right to kick you to the curb, and the best you can do is forget about yourself for a moment and just be whatever it is she needs. Remorse? Show her how sorry you are. Respect if she needs to talk/not talk/vent whatever. Try to remember how you felt when it was you, but don't expect her to deal with it in exactly the same way.
And one other thing, which isn't your core problem right now but is tangentially related: I am with LFL that you come off as waaaaay too flirty. I used to admire MissIC's restraint - I would have scratched your face bloody by now. I actually had you flagged as a potential affair candidate when you first joined this board. Later, when MissIC joined, I tried to tell myself it might just be "your way", and the cancer diagnosis thing further lulled me into thinking it might be you trying to smile in the face of fear. But it was more than that, apparently.
If you signal "I love women" to all and sundry, someone might take you up on it, and if you're in a bad spot relationship-wise you might be weak enough to agree. I'd be very, very, very careful with such behavior in the future. Not to mention avoiding bars by yourself. Part of fence-tending is simply not putting yourself into dangerous positions.
This is just future for-your-info, should MissIC decide to work with you. For now, just be there for her.
