Nwlywed,
As we used to say in the flying biz: EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!

You're on fire, you've lost hydraulics, and there's a big mountain coming up.

Really, listen to choc and hairdog and everyone else. I question whether you have enough invested in this to go through the heartache of trying to fix it.

One last thought: it sounds like you're over-pursuing. Have you tried doing a 180?

Me: 51
W: 50
M 24 yrs
EA: since Apr 06
S22, S26, S28
ILYBNILWY:Nov 07

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden