I am very sorry. If you choose to fix it this can be fixed. It hurts like h@ll and there is no way around it.
IC,
Why will this one stupid act define you for a while?? Because whether she wants to or not Mrs. IC will replay this whole thing in her mind over and over and the worst part is it will be the fantasized, embellished version NOT the reality. So... if she decides she wants the gory details you better be ready to share them - Radical Honesty. You also better be ready to hear whatever she's got to say whether it is about what you did and how much it hurt or whether it is about WHY you weren't getting what you wanted out of the R when you did what you did. Is there the opportunity to Re-define yourself after this?? Absolutely but first you have to take your lumps for the hour or so in which you didn't care about anyone but yourself.
BTW - there is part of me that would be relieved to know my H was having an affair. It would make me feel a little less crazy inside to know that he has some sexual affection for someone.
