I read your post last night but had mixed feelings about the answer. The answer is obvious, of course, though - do what is best for your children. Strengthen your bond with them.
She is "acting out". Misbehaving. As you say - waving goodbye to you. (more like thumbing her nose). But remember - it is the kids' feelings that matter most. They don't want to be caught in the shuffle. They don't want to feel like no one wants them. They want and need a dad they can depend on.
Point is - she will go with or without your help. She can't see beyond her own selfishness. Look the other way and plan some fun things with your children. This is actually a "GIFT" to you.
My Ex has done so little for our children. But I have more than made up for it emotionally, physically and financially. They know who was always there for them. And I am blessed for it. Do you know that I almost wrote out a Christmas card to him yesterday THANKING him for the gift of these 3 children. (I thought better of it as it would be misread no doubt). But I got the gift. I have a great R with my kids.
Always do what your heart tells you with respect to your kids. It rarely fails you.
