I had the same 'stream of conscious' type thoughts as well. Not the exact that you are having, but my own version.
BTW, I didn't mean to imply that you are not competent or able to deal with your stuff... but because I know first hand the enormity of it all, exactly as you have described it... that is where my offer of help came from... not because you CAN'T do it... it's just that sometimes, the very best move you can make, is to take help where you can find it.
My lawyer told me... "look. I know this is emotional for you, I know it's hard. But I need you to get into your business frame of mind so you can get your life in order. We are going to do this, then this, then this. Once that is done, THEN you can fall apart. We'll get you any help you need to heal. And make no major life decisions for at least one year after D day."
Sketchy, sure, but that's the plan I went with because it was logical and involved no blame whatsoever. I knew exactly what I was supposed to do, no thinking involved.
And along the way, I grabbed onto every tree limb, outstretched hand and parachute I could grasp.
So if you could please stop beating up on my friend MoJo... she's going through a rough time. Maybe try and compartmentalize those emotions for a bit so you can focus... designate days/times to have a good cry and fall apart... I know that sounds horridly robotic... but sometimes, that's what it takes for a time. You don't have to stay that way... or you'll come up with a strategy on your own...
In any case... I know you can do this. And other than that, I don't know what to say. Hope something in it is useful.
