sounds like she is pretty broken (drinking, feeling low) trying to cure her depression, sounds like a pretty depressed person to me, might be hitting the proverbial "rock bottom" when all heck breaks loose and they see what a mess they've created. Would she go to individual counceling if she isnt ready for MC? she sounds like she needs some therapy big time (same boat here, my H is too confused internally to begin truly working on our M, we live together but sleep appart)
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
She says she wants to start IC right now, sees the picture clear as day. But around girlfriends (clubbing) and work, she is all laughs and smiles, rest of time at my place, hers or her mothers, she just sleeps, mops and talks negatively about her self. Loads of fun to be around!
She even brought this up, that she couldn't work on us until she worked on her. Her idea was IC, then Retro, then MC, then move back in...But she hasn't taken the first step and it has been some time. Keeps saying she is looking for a counseler, how hard can it be, she is one!!!
how hard can it be, she is one ================================ wow
But true, she can't work on you guys with her brain all scrambled up, she is hiding her insecurities and trying to quell her problems with the party scene, and when all that is done she is back to her true nature:misery. My H would try to drown his sorrows in trips, he always thought he'd feel better but once he was back he felt as bad, don't let that surprise you, it's the nature of the beast, a half ass way of fixing things within herself.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Wanted to drop on by piecing and see about some tips about turning that corner.
Well W is still staying over about the same frequency of 3-4 nights a week. Still sleeps on the couch. Quit moping on the floor all night, started sitting on the couch. It is a wrap around and she was as far as you can be, now she is sitting next to me on the couch.
We did our X-mas shopping and she took me out to dinner, little flirting on both ends.
Greater frequency in phone calls and texts. But we are still getting the divorce and then she is going to work on her in IC, then see about us.
Almost feels like we are dating again. We are spending X-mas eve together and X-mas morning. She also asked me if I wanted to be with her for New Years. Good signs, but I get a lot of "I don't want to lead you on."
I think it is sort of a way for her to have no expectations of herself, or where things will go. In other words, by saying that, if things don't work out, it is because she never planned for them to, and she doesn't fail. If they do work out, the whole statement doesn't matter anyway. So, she's protected, either way. That's my take. Of course, hers could be totally different. And we are not talking about a conscious thing here. She doesn't know she's doing it.
That makes sense. As I write she is laying on the couch spending another night here. We had a good time through the night. She asked for some of my clothes to wear to bed, again.
She said another on of those protecting things tonight, and I just blew it off and didn't respond. She just said she shouldn't be sleeping here. Hmm, but you are. Thank god!
I have started reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and our communication is really improving. She did a 30 minute diatribe of her day when she arrived home, I validated it all, and just asked questions, no solutions. I could tell she really liked it. Plus what is really good, outside of her gf's now, her family and the OM are out of the picture, so that leaves me as the only man to confide in. Hehe!
