I know she has met with her lawyer and is proposing a formal separation on 1/4. I am meeting a lawyer tomorrow to see what I'm in for.
Couple of thoughts
1) Money. Do you have multiple incomes? Is she reliant on you to fund all of these excursions? I would start by restricting her access to money that isn't generated by herself and limit your financial exposure to her activities. She is obviously being irresponsible with money, so time to take yourself out of that whole equation
2) Rings. It's hard when they take them off, but you already knew she wasn't committed to the M, right? It may be a visual reminder, but it doesn't really change much of anything.
She isn't living in reality right now - What is her plan to find somewhere else to live after separation and pay for all of those expenses? I'm sure your lawyer will tell you to start keeping your stuff separate so she can't drain all the cash out of your family.
Not sure if any of that helps - Sounds like you need to be a little more aggressive and stand your ground to avoid being burned.
