Okay, here's the deal. In case you guys haven't noticed I've mostly been operating in "bunkey" mode myself since the separation. Therefore, I am angry at myself for a variety of reasons about my current financial predicament. However, I think it may be the case that I'm finally "strong bunny" or something like that enough that my adult animals are waking up and they're like "WTF has been going on here?" 'cause it's like the house when the Cat in The Hat came to visit and before he cleaned up. Today I actually found myself wanting to Pine-Sol my floors and deal with IRS paperwork more than I wanted to e-mail my new internet swains. I was like "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure it would be great to date somebody as funtastic as me. Do you have a snowblower?"
Anyways, I've been procrastinating on filing to reverse the no-garnish order for so long that I forgot that I actually do have a good reason not to do it. My 2bx could sue me for some of the assets of my business and even though I value my inventory at cost it could definitely end up being way more than child support owed especially if I have to deal with paying a lawyer other than my sister.
So, I am kind of angry with myself and frustrated but I think maybe I should cut myself some slack because my D16 is hanging out with her friends in a heated room and they're all eating Dollar Menu double cheeseburgers that were paid for with gentile impoverished book dealer earnings so even though I've been rather "bunky", I'm still the grown-up by default and at least I know how to be a grown-up even if I took a temporary semi-leave-of-absence.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Anyways, I've been procrastinating on filing to reverse the no-garnish order for so long that I forgot that I actually do have a good reason not to do it. My 2bx could sue me for some of the assets of my business and even though I value my inventory at cost it could definitely end up being way more than child support owed especially if I have to deal with paying a lawyer other than my sister.
Sell your portion of the business to your sister for $1, and have her sell it back to you on D-day for $2.
Good point. I guess I haven't quite unmuddled my mind on this matter. I did have the thought that his parents might help him out if I got aggressive but they are both pretty disgusted with him at this point. I have been simultaneously over-thinking and under-functioning (strung-out monkey, weak-ass lioness). I just need to march forward and let the chips fly as they will.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I hope you understand that asking for child support is NOT being aggressive, or even asking for more that what you deserve. Child support is for your children. It is calculated based on a formula... not some arbitrary number YOU pull out of the air. Even if you do nothing with that money but stick aside in a college fund... gosh... they deserve every nickel of it.
Anyways, I've been procrastinating on filing to reverse the no-garnish order for so long that I forgot that I actually do have a good reason not to do it. My 2bx could sue me for some of the assets of my business and even though I value my inventory at cost it could definitely end up being way more than child support owed especially if I have to deal with paying a lawyer other than my sister.
Sell your portion of the business to your sister for $1, and have her sell it back to you on D-day for $2.
Your 2bx could sue, sure... but with WHAT?
No no no no. If it's really the case that Mojo has business assets that stbx would techninally be entitled to then that's that. We women wanted equality, we act like equals. By all means, file for support (and risk having him sue), but no selling of business portions back and forth for nominal sums. What would you think of a man who did that? No shoddy games.
Yes, he quit on his kids. Yes, he left a higher paying job and bailed on his child support. But no reason to sink to his level.
No no no no. If it's really the case that Mojo has business assets that stbx would techninally be entitled to then that's that.... Yes, he quit on his kids. Yes, he left a higher paying job and bailed on his child support. But no reason to sink to his level.
Ethically, you are correct. But why is it that Mo has to fight both sides of it? Why is it not his problem? Tell me again... what's ethical about divorce?
Okay, shortly before we split-up we threw virtually all of our debt into our house. Right after we split, the housing market in Michigan collapsed. My 2bx was making approximately 4x what he is making now before we split and theoretically he was going to pay child support and payments towards the mutual debt portion of our mortgage until the house sold or our D16 graduated which would have made the mortgage just barely affordable for me. My business is the most valuable marital asset at this point but it is an asset that represents a good part of my future income in the form of inventory. My 2bx says I should just let the house foreclose because he is just going to declare bankruptcy because he has accumulated a lot of debt since our split by doing things like abandoning his apartment etc. I won't declare bankruptcy because although I frequently make a monkey-mess of things, I'm not "careless" in the sense that SG once defined it of being somebody who lets other people clean up after her plus I own a business. So basically I have been left with all the assets and all the debt and all the financial and parental responsibilities from our marriage and I haven't quite got a grip on how to deal with it and I'm angry at myself because probably I should have been working two jobs instead of going around all concerned about "bunkey" issues even though I would have simultaneously been bailing my 2bx out of a good portion of his responsibilities while covering my own.
Anyways, I guess what I'm saying is that this is the last area of lingering marital fusion and I just need to deal with it.
Last edited by MJontheMend; 12/20/0712:00 PM.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I completely understand u feeling so overwhelmed by it all that you just ignore it for a bit. BTDT. There are ways to deal with your sitch, though, especially if you find someone who can help you think it through, one step at a time.
Do you need help finding reliable help? Just emotional support?
You sure as he!! don't need a poster like me grinding on you... so if I've made you feel worse, I apologize. That was not my intent.
Do you need help finding reliable help? Just emotional support?
Thanks Corri. The thing is it's not like I'm not generally a competent person in this area. If I was on a reality show where I was a stranger who had to take over my situation and fix it, I could do it. It's just that there is so much emotion attached to the process in the form of lingering fusion. OTOH, I feel like I would have felt if my sister and I shared a messy room and my Mom let her go out to play while I had to stay in and clean the whole room by myself. OTOH, I feel kind of abandoned, although I guess I usually just kind of project this on to my daughter and get sad thinking about how she might feel abandoned by her father. It's like I focus on the "in this relationship." part of my 2bx's exit line "I am not willing to play the part of the stereotypical man in this relationship" and imagine some other better family for which he would be "willing". OTOH, it brings up feelings of I must be a loser to have been married to and actually "in love" with such a PAL and the proof of this is the fact that I haven't dealt with this mess appropriately.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
