Separated and unsure how to proceed

[mcol]

thanks, bearsfan.

I know I have to be very careful and it's really hard because the little darling is the one getting the unconditional love, and I get kicked in the teeth.

Kimmie..to what extent do you believe that your husband feels guilt over not being in his D life? This may be why his defenses are so high. Also, after 12 yrs of marriage there must have been other contributing factors in your R that produced his overnight deparature...can you give us more info?

Bears is right...especially if your H is feeling guilt about his D, he will naturally feel he has to chose and to preserve his relationship with his D when she may be experiencing symptoms comparable to his own (genetic guilt)?