One foot in front of the other....

[LL44]

I told her I would not punish her for expressing herself

Good job Daddy!!!

Regardless of the guilt, she still is putting herself before her own daughter. This is what you are working to protect your daughter from.

Sorry about the rough times, in some ways I hate when H and I aren't speaking...

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks Lwb.. Im going to keep on placing D as #1. Her mom might be "in love" but Im going to look past that and focus only on my daughter.

I keep going back and forth between wanting her back and not caring anymore. I really hope I can fully not care soon, so much easier to cope.

W keeps calling my mom to tell her anything positive about our daughter that she can, obviously trying to convince my mom to buy into her shenangians. I know she needs the validation from someone that she isnt such a bad person, not going to get that from me.

I really think this is who my W really is, I keep thinking back on our R and so many times I wondered why I stuck it out this long. Almost all my friends have told me that I could do so much better and that W is a shadey person, I just couldnt see her in that light. But now that I reflect back, Im starting to beleive that they are right. She is simply a selfish person that was never taught how to have a lasting meaningful relationship. I confided in my best friend (knows us both very well) that I was scared she would go on to marry OM and be happy while I sit here and hurt. He responded by saying she doesnt know how to be happy, it will never happen.

He said...sure she's in love now but that wont last and OM will get a healthy dose of her bipolar illness and wonder why in the hell he moved here.

[LL44]

I am the same way, wanting H back and then wanting it to be over, and that's all before 7am every day. lol

I have noticed a lot of our WAS are selfish in nature. And your friend is right, your W isn't going about finding happiness on the path she is on now.

What does your Mom know about your situation? Does she know everything? What does she say back to your W?

[Hurtin4certain]

Yeah, my mom knows about everything. She was very close with my W. My mom really tries to stay out of it and says she does not talk about me to my W (I told her not to).

Basically my mom tries to keep the peace, she avoids stirring the pot.

[Hurtin4certain]

SO I finally got the money to retain my lawyer. Tomorrow I am going to file for the Big D. Not what I want at all but something I need to do.

Tomorrow is going to be rough, please pray for me.

H4C

[LL44]

I'll be thinking about you. Keep us posted.

[SueS]

Hey H4C-

Thinking about you!

SueS

[Hurtin4certain]

My lawyer is sending my W the divorce letter today in the mail... Im so freakin sad. :-(

I wish I could get angry but right now Im stuck in the pain of it all. How does one divorce someone they love? This totally goes against everything I believe in.

H4C

[Hurtin4certain]

Well it's done. The papers have been filed.

Suprisingly the sadness I felt while walking into the lawyers office was replaced by this serene feeling. Like I had taken back some of my power from W.

Oddly enough, W called as I was signing papers! How freakin odd! We havent been speaking for quite some time, and she calls to tell me our D did really well on her report card. I thought that was pretty weird.

Lately she's been really hateful for me and then she calls me in a good mood as Im divorcing her! I dont get it.

On top of that, I was offered a new job today... a good move for me with a nice pay increase.

Life is happening too fast!!!! W and OM, divorce, new job!!!

[SueS]

H4C-

What a day you've had!! Congratulations on the new job. I'm very happy for you. Didn't you say this would take you away from memories and people that know you/your wife?

I'm sorry about the action you had to take today. You just never know what will happen now.

And great to hear about your D's report card!

((((H4C))))

SueS