Your post to Blackfoot last night describing how you saw LFL's H's behavior in leaving during their separation is a little different than my impression of his leaving. I'm also not sure that I agree that LFL's problem with her H's leaving is the same problem you are seeing. Meaning that I think you are stressing the feelings of abandonment and betrayal - is this a correct impression?
Not quite. I see it as the breaking of a magic circle that kept her eyes turned inward ... which is what I was trying to illustrate with my fire analogy. There were problems before, and after, but now leaving is on the table in a way it wasn't before.
My impression only. I'll let LFL speak for herself if she wants.
Edit to add: It's also my impression (from a very small sample of n < 50) that being "just left" doesn't hurt fundamentally less than being left for OP. I can't compare personally, because it hasn't happened to me, I just observe friends and people on this board - and the pain (if pain can ever be quantified) is different, but seems equally intense. The LBS of WAs that "just left" seem to struggle with similar issues of anger, pain, etc even years later. In a way, it may be worse because there is no "chemical love cocktail" to blame for the desertion. As I said, this is simply observation. I hope I don't have to experience either myself.
