I hear you, Miss IC-- this may be something that you need to grapple with on your own. I definitely get feeling like an outsider in someone's life. Your relief may come less from IC changing his ways and more from YOU learning to manage your anxiety and your feelings of being an outsider in your marriage.
Look within yourself and try to identify those feelings of exclusion apart from IC's behavior. Have you felt this way before? I ALWAYS felt like an outsider in my FOO. And I tend to feel that way now, too.
Not saying IC shouldn't do some work on this, too, but own your part of it, and you'll probably get results much faster.
