Oh no I have not lost the connection with any of my 'real' friends they are all right there still. Maybe I did not make that very clear, but all of my friends are his too. I have only one real friend outside of the circle I have and have had with the OM. They are all friends that I have hung out with since high school, we were a tight group then and we still are today. Yes there have been new ones added and some have left, or we have forced them out for certain reasons. But for the most part It has been the same poeple for almost 20 years now. There are friends that I have met with H but I just don't have the same type of connection with them that I do with my other friends. I do try to go out and meet other people but it is so hard with work and famlity stuff going on all the time. I do bowl on a women league one night a week so I do have some girls there but they just don't seem like the type to call up and ask to hit the bar or even go out to eat with. I don't want to sound like I go to the bars all the time but like I said before there are soooo many to chose from where I am at, that is the most popluar place to go. As for people that I work with, its kind of like my relationship that I have with my friends...They have all been friends since high school and to break into that group is VERY hard, I have tried. The only way into it is to marry into it, and that is not happening any time soon.
I hope that this helps some.
Now on to bigger things...
Last night I seen the OM for a little while, and it was just odd. I could feel the tension between us, that could be a good thing or that could be a bad thing. I know that I am really leaning towards staying with H now, I am far more certain that is what I want. But I am still struggling with the fact why am I always going back an forth between the two of them. Yes I feel far more comfortable with the OM but I feel safe H... OH what to do??? I have seen some very postive changes in H over the last little while now but to I trust that they are going to stick this time or do I just play them off as he is doing this just to keep me and things will go back to the way that they were before once he knows that I am not going any where. That is the delema that I am facing right now. I have seen this behavior before its a cycle that we have been through before. This time its different because I have actually told H that I want to leave. All the other times I have just stuck it out. I guess that this possibly should be asked over on the WAS board but I will throw it out here and see what happens.
